check this shit out.
latavia ward (1/30/2009 9:49:46 PM): aye guh i seen the smallest penis ever and how bout he asked me for head i replied " i choke on small things"
cloud.kapri (1/30/2009 9:49:58 PM): LMFAO wow
latavia ward (1/30/2009 9:50:04 PM): hell yeah
latavia ward (1/30/2009 9:50:11 PM): little ass dick
cloud.kapri (1/30/2009 9:51:01 PM): how small was it?
latavia ward (1/30/2009 9:51:16 PM): like a 4 inch
latavia ward (1/30/2009 9:51:32 PM): he pulled it out i was like " yikes"
cloud.kapri (1/30/2009 9:52:23 PM): LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
latavia ward (1/30/2009 9:54:00 PM): lmmfao i was deceased
cloud.kapri (1/30/2009 9:54:27 PM): lol, this bitch said deceased.
latavia ward (1/30/2009 9:54:53 PM): i did him or whatever and he had the nerve to say " i beat dat pussy out da frame" i was like u didnt graze my wall then he gave me 200 dollars
latavia ward (1/30/2009 9:54:57 PM): i didn't even ask for it
cloud.kapri (1/30/2009 9:55:46 PM): whoa
latavia ward (1/30/2009 9:56:20 PM): i know right he said " thats the best pussy i had since i been in ga"
latavia ward (1/30/2009 9:56:57 PM): then he was on top and he thought i was moaning but i was gruntin cuz i couldnt breathe cuz he was suffocatin me
latavia ward (1/30/2009 9:57:06 PM): tryin to lay on me
latavia ward (1/30/2009 9:57:09 PM): lmmfao
latavia ward (1/30/2009 9:57:10 PM): aww man
cloud.kapri (1/30/2009 9:57:39 PM): lmfao
cloud.kapri (1/30/2009 9:57:41 PM): yo an ass
cloud.kapri (1/30/2009 9:57:43 PM): you-
latavia ward (1/30/2009 9:57:57 PM): lmmfao
latavia ward (1/30/2009 9:58:07 PM): talkin bout he swole nigga u fat
i don't even understand.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
021
so i'm sittin here listening and singing Paramore at the top of my lungs, and i said to my self, "i think i'll blog about some shit today." and my self replied back, "hell yeah folk."
so here i am.
so i'll start with recent shit, and work myself back because i can't remember shit off the top of my head right now. and being as i haven't really posted anything to really read per se, i would say that it was important that i remember some of this shit for you guys. you feel me? yuh.
last night was so interesting. i actually spent time with my mother, which is a first. yenno, we watched tv together for hours and we actually talked. like, on some g shit. it felt like i was meeting my mother for the very first time in my life.
i dunno, growing up i can remember my mom up until about second grade in elementary school. like i can remember her being there when i was in preschool, picking me up and being proud of me at my ballet recitals. i remember the smile on her face when i graduated from preschool, and that trip we took to Disney World. i can remember her helping me sell girl scout cookies when i was in kindergarten and picking me and my elementary school bestfriend Ashley up and taking us to the park. i remember how she used to watch me at the stables when i rode horses and being at my horse shows, smiling at me when i won my ribbons. then second grade happened, and she stopped believing in me or something. i dunno what happened, because of course i was a small child at the time.
but i just remember getting into trouble over something that was written in my diary as a child, but i did not write it. i remember her yelling at me and telling me to tell the truth. dear God, and i walking through those double doors at Kaiser Permanente to see the psychiatrist like there was something wrong with me. there was nothing i wanted more in the world for my mother to be proud of me. til this day i can remember our conversation. i told her that if she did this to me i would never talk to her again, ever. ha, a very outspoken child i was. and very mature for my age. but then again that's what they say about all children that are the only child. anyway, the point is i have never really spoken to her since that day. of course i went along with procedure and talked to the doctor and she did her job. there was nothing wrong with me. i did not lie, but my mother was not convinced.
my mother was the type of parent that was consumed with her job. she is a cardiac registered nurse, so she worked from the time i went to school til about 6 in the evening or later. from the time i started middle my mother was never really around. i was old enough to walk the 5 or so odd blocks to school, and so i did every morning.
from 6th grade up until graduation, my life and my mother's life were separate. i don't blame my mother for not being around, well yeah i do. because i don't see why she tried to get to know me or ask me how my day was. to this day i don't understand how you could choose your job over your child. i keep saying i don't blame her for all the shit i got into, like smoking and underage drinking, but in the end i do blame her.
my memories haunt me, and i have a lot of resentment towards her, but i'm grown now so whatever. it doesn't matter.
it's just a child should not have to grow up on it's own, ever. teaching themselves everything about life. living and learning their way through the world by pick and choose. i basically taught myself everything in life. i taught myself about people, who was real, who you should love and who you should care for. i taught myself to be a mother and how to be responsible.
it was just nice to finally talk to her, and have a conversation with her without all the yelling and the animosity and shit. i mean, i love my mom though. because...well aren't you supposed to love your mother? but i don't understand. don't get me wrong, i did not open up to her like an encyclopedia book or some shit, but i did piece her in a fraction of my life. i just don't trust her, but then again how can you trust someone you haven't spoken to in over a decade? in reality, we are still broken. but the experience was nice.
...i'm so done talking about this.
in other news, Josh and I are great. amazing even. -smiles- he's the most perfect person for me, i swear it. buttttt i'm not going to make you niggarachies gag on the subject of me and my significant other. just know that we're amazing. i'll update you guys on the wedding date and shit, LMAO!
speaking of which, Josh met Taylor. it was soooo freaking funny. she was like, "whaddup Jo!" when i gave her the phone to talk to him.
ironically, a few days before that when he called i was in the car with my cousins Breanna, Deanna, Tomika, and Breanna's boyfriend David. anyway, Breanna asked me who i was on the phone with, and i said Josh. this bitch, "Jo Jo!" and then Deanna piped in, "how does it feel to have Vanessa as a sister?" i had to let that one marinate for a minute, but then realized she talking about them damn girls from Run's House and shit. harhar hoes. =/ so yeah, that made it even funnier that Taylor called him Jo. but yeah, she basically copies everything he says. -shrugs- she must think he's funny or something. haha, i'm glad they like each other though.
which reminds me, me him and Telly bullshitted on the phone for an hour or so. it was the funniest shit ever. yet another person that thinks Telly and I sound alike. not only do we say alot of the same expressions, but we sound alike too. i was so deadd.
Josh ass, "which one of yall said that?"
it was so funny. its always funny when Telly and I are on the phone with a guy. we completely take over. well we're just some bitches that run shit anyway.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL, so i called my mom on the house phone while they were both on my cell phone on a conference call. and Josh was like, "DAMN! you loud, put the phone down." mind you i'm on the phone with my mom, so i'm not really paying much attention to the conference call, and my mom said something...i don't really remember what it was...but i was like,"yeah, aight." Telly was like, "whatttt, did you just...???" i was like, "nah nah, i'm on the phone with Paulette." she let out a big WHEW!
haha, if you don't know, i have never like never ever ever ever done what i guy has told me to do. i'm so hard headed and headstrong. plus, i'm just to being the dominate one in relationship.
then here goes Josh, "nah she was saying aight to me, shit. she know i run it!" LMAO, it was so damn cute. lol, yeah baby you run it, aight? i aint gonna front, he wears the pants in the relationship, but only cause i let him. so don't it fool you. so you know what that means right? i'm actually running things, nahmsayin? yeahdat.
ohhhh yeah, last thing. so yesterday, Josh and I stayed home. not on purpose to talk to one another ALL day or anything like that, i was just having a bad day at work and my boss sent me home. but yeah, we ended up talking ALL day and shit. we are so lame, we did like photo share and shit on yahoo and were showing each other pictures. like...yeah. anyway, the point i'm trying to make here is that Josh looks like such a white boy AND he poses for pictures. BIG LOL, well he posed in the one picture. i was freaking dead. too bad i didn't save the picture to my computer cause i would've totally posted that bitch. but yeah, we're having babies and shit and we're going to live happily ever after.
he loves me, i love him.
fin.
so here i am.
so i'll start with recent shit, and work myself back because i can't remember shit off the top of my head right now. and being as i haven't really posted anything to really read per se, i would say that it was important that i remember some of this shit for you guys. you feel me? yuh.
last night was so interesting. i actually spent time with my mother, which is a first. yenno, we watched tv together for hours and we actually talked. like, on some g shit. it felt like i was meeting my mother for the very first time in my life.
i dunno, growing up i can remember my mom up until about second grade in elementary school. like i can remember her being there when i was in preschool, picking me up and being proud of me at my ballet recitals. i remember the smile on her face when i graduated from preschool, and that trip we took to Disney World. i can remember her helping me sell girl scout cookies when i was in kindergarten and picking me and my elementary school bestfriend Ashley up and taking us to the park. i remember how she used to watch me at the stables when i rode horses and being at my horse shows, smiling at me when i won my ribbons. then second grade happened, and she stopped believing in me or something. i dunno what happened, because of course i was a small child at the time.
but i just remember getting into trouble over something that was written in my diary as a child, but i did not write it. i remember her yelling at me and telling me to tell the truth. dear God, and i walking through those double doors at Kaiser Permanente to see the psychiatrist like there was something wrong with me. there was nothing i wanted more in the world for my mother to be proud of me. til this day i can remember our conversation. i told her that if she did this to me i would never talk to her again, ever. ha, a very outspoken child i was. and very mature for my age. but then again that's what they say about all children that are the only child. anyway, the point is i have never really spoken to her since that day. of course i went along with procedure and talked to the doctor and she did her job. there was nothing wrong with me. i did not lie, but my mother was not convinced.
my mother was the type of parent that was consumed with her job. she is a cardiac registered nurse, so she worked from the time i went to school til about 6 in the evening or later. from the time i started middle my mother was never really around. i was old enough to walk the 5 or so odd blocks to school, and so i did every morning.
from 6th grade up until graduation, my life and my mother's life were separate. i don't blame my mother for not being around, well yeah i do. because i don't see why she tried to get to know me or ask me how my day was. to this day i don't understand how you could choose your job over your child. i keep saying i don't blame her for all the shit i got into, like smoking and underage drinking, but in the end i do blame her.
my memories haunt me, and i have a lot of resentment towards her, but i'm grown now so whatever. it doesn't matter.
it's just a child should not have to grow up on it's own, ever. teaching themselves everything about life. living and learning their way through the world by pick and choose. i basically taught myself everything in life. i taught myself about people, who was real, who you should love and who you should care for. i taught myself to be a mother and how to be responsible.
it was just nice to finally talk to her, and have a conversation with her without all the yelling and the animosity and shit. i mean, i love my mom though. because...well aren't you supposed to love your mother? but i don't understand. don't get me wrong, i did not open up to her like an encyclopedia book or some shit, but i did piece her in a fraction of my life. i just don't trust her, but then again how can you trust someone you haven't spoken to in over a decade? in reality, we are still broken. but the experience was nice.
...i'm so done talking about this.
in other news, Josh and I are great. amazing even. -smiles- he's the most perfect person for me, i swear it. buttttt i'm not going to make you niggarachies gag on the subject of me and my significant other. just know that we're amazing. i'll update you guys on the wedding date and shit, LMAO!
speaking of which, Josh met Taylor. it was soooo freaking funny. she was like, "whaddup Jo!" when i gave her the phone to talk to him.
ironically, a few days before that when he called i was in the car with my cousins Breanna, Deanna, Tomika, and Breanna's boyfriend David. anyway, Breanna asked me who i was on the phone with, and i said Josh. this bitch, "Jo Jo!" and then Deanna piped in, "how does it feel to have Vanessa as a sister?" i had to let that one marinate for a minute, but then realized she talking about them damn girls from Run's House and shit. harhar hoes. =/ so yeah, that made it even funnier that Taylor called him Jo. but yeah, she basically copies everything he says. -shrugs- she must think he's funny or something. haha, i'm glad they like each other though.
which reminds me, me him and Telly bullshitted on the phone for an hour or so. it was the funniest shit ever. yet another person that thinks Telly and I sound alike. not only do we say alot of the same expressions, but we sound alike too. i was so deadd.
Josh ass, "which one of yall said that?"
it was so funny. its always funny when Telly and I are on the phone with a guy. we completely take over. well we're just some bitches that run shit anyway.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL, so i called my mom on the house phone while they were both on my cell phone on a conference call. and Josh was like, "DAMN! you loud, put the phone down." mind you i'm on the phone with my mom, so i'm not really paying much attention to the conference call, and my mom said something...i don't really remember what it was...but i was like,"yeah, aight." Telly was like, "whatttt, did you just...???" i was like, "nah nah, i'm on the phone with Paulette." she let out a big WHEW!
haha, if you don't know, i have never like never ever ever ever done what i guy has told me to do. i'm so hard headed and headstrong. plus, i'm just to being the dominate one in relationship.
then here goes Josh, "nah she was saying aight to me, shit. she know i run it!" LMAO, it was so damn cute. lol, yeah baby you run it, aight? i aint gonna front, he wears the pants in the relationship, but only cause i let him. so don't it fool you. so you know what that means right? i'm actually running things, nahmsayin? yeahdat.
ohhhh yeah, last thing. so yesterday, Josh and I stayed home. not on purpose to talk to one another ALL day or anything like that, i was just having a bad day at work and my boss sent me home. but yeah, we ended up talking ALL day and shit. we are so lame, we did like photo share and shit on yahoo and were showing each other pictures. like...yeah. anyway, the point i'm trying to make here is that Josh looks like such a white boy AND he poses for pictures. BIG LOL, well he posed in the one picture. i was freaking dead. too bad i didn't save the picture to my computer cause i would've totally posted that bitch. but yeah, we're having babies and shit and we're going to live happily ever after.
he loves me, i love him.
fin.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
flick
sooooo i took a new picture today, check a bitch out.
now tell me how pretty i am, bitch.
naw i'm playing, i'ma uggabugga.
SIKE, bad bitches unite.
now tell me how pretty i am, bitch.
naw i'm playing, i'ma uggabugga.
SIKE, bad bitches unite.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
be my baby moma & shit
so, i've been talking and caking with Josh alot. and when i say alot, i mean alot alot alot alot. like every second of my day, minus when i shower, i stay talking to him. and i only mention the shower part because i will actually talk to him in the shower if i wanted to. cause me & Telly still stay on the phone while we shower...no homo.
so anyway, monday night we, Josh and i had, got into a fight. yenno, a little falling out. basically it was all over a "misunderstanding" or what not. i was over at my grandparent's house to pick Prada's ass up and shit. of course i'm talking to Josh on yahoo and what not. lemme sample this conversation for you.
Josh: mannnn
Me: what?
Josh: nothing i'm bored
Me: oh so i bore you, huh?
Josh: sometimes
*pause. was he serious?
Me: that's interesting
Me: well go unbore yourself Josh
Josh: if i go out i'm not coming home til late
Me: do what you want Josh
Josh: bet
Josh: i'm going to Tim's house
*alert, alert. he already knew that shit was going to piss me off to no end, but of course i was tryna play like i didn't care. ugh, especially when i know hoes be ALL up at Tim's house and probably ALL over Josh and shit. but yeah, whatever. so i'm playing like i don't care and shit. capeesh? yuh.
so he hits me up again like 30 minutes later. to only later get into it further more & shit. anyway, it was more so of me being an asshole and him not understanding why. i suppose it was a misunderstanding. well, yeah. that's exactly what it was. anyway, we talk again later and he tells me that he was only joking when he said that i bored him.
*okay, so maybe i did blow the thing out of proportion, but a nigga didn't put a "jk" "lol" "lmao" or none of that shit after that statement, so i really had no choice but to take him seriously.
lol, so Josh's cool ass randomly calls my ass out the blue while i'm at the gas station. not to buy a blunt, black & mild or none of that shit, but for once just a regular purchase of a cherry coke zero. so he calls me to ask me if i'm okay and i tell him yeah. mind you, it's fucking pouring rain & my cool ass has on some crocs, so as i'm walking into the gas station i almost bust my ass in front of fiftyleven niggas and shit. i'm screaming all in his ear, while trying to keep my hair from gettin wet & trying to keep from falling. this whole time Josh got jokes and shit, "make sure not to get your weave wet boo." TRIED ME!
so i enter the gas station of whatever, and as i'm on my way in this nigga on his way out carrying a two brown paper bags full of 40 oz. beers/malt liquors. i take a deep breath & prepare myself. i mainly try to stay focused on Josh, cause for some reason i'm thinking that me being on the phone will keep me from being notice. but nah.
"damn baby, gimme a kiss."
NIGGA WHAT! i laugh at this nigga in his face as i'm makin my way back to the refrigerator things. Josh ass crunk as hell, "WHAT THAT NIGGA SAY TO YOU?" i'm laughing it off, cause i know how Josh ass can get.
*Baby is a fool, i swear this nigga wants to beat the whole world up over my ass. so umm, you Atlanta niggas baby said get the fuck back. and if you try me in front of him this summer, i really hate it for you.
so anyway, i make my purchase and on my way out and ANOTHER coon has something else to add. i swear to yall, niggas in the hood be so thirsty ESPECIALLY eastside decatur niggas. it was then when i notice all eyes is on a bitch, and i'm like the only female in the entire facility. so a bitch kinda nervous. i keep talking to Josh, and dash away to the car & go home.
so yeah man, Josh and i end up talking that night from like 11 pm to 4 in the morning <3.
some more shit...
yeah Josh, i'm biting you, but i can do that.
so i've basically been spending every night talking to Josh since last Monday. even though we have work and shit in the morning, we still stay up to the wee hours of the morning caking and shit.
*speaking of which, he had a big day that week. shouts outs to me & Josh yenno. to all you bitches, get the fuck back. like Monica & Brandy, the boy is MINE! 01072009.
like i was saying, we've been staying up laughin and shit, on some real g shit.
check it, so one night we were up watching Jackass the Movie. ROFLLLLLLLLLLLL, Josh had me rolling man. i have never laughed that hard at that movie, except for maybe with my Bust It Baby, shout outs to you babygirl. but chea, he went on and on about this old man in the scooter. i lie to you not a bitch almost fell over on the floor.
insider: like hahahaaa [/shawty lo]
-dead
a bitch be really on her job man. i'm really a g. soooo these past 7+ days, Josh and i have been discovering alot more about each other and shit. ALOT more about each other -wink, wink- lmao, i'm fucking with yall. but seriously though, a bitch is really looking forward to this summer. like no lie.
wanna know why? here goes...
*lol, this nigga was at his mom's house talking to me on yahoo with his shirt over his face cause he couldn't stop smiling and he didn't want any one to see. aww, i love you baby. i love you, i love you, i love you.
the moral of the story is: Josh and i are inseparable.
the end.
so anyway, monday night we, Josh and i had, got into a fight. yenno, a little falling out. basically it was all over a "misunderstanding" or what not. i was over at my grandparent's house to pick Prada's ass up and shit. of course i'm talking to Josh on yahoo and what not. lemme sample this conversation for you.
Josh: mannnn
Me: what?
Josh: nothing i'm bored
Me: oh so i bore you, huh?
Josh: sometimes
*pause. was he serious?
Me: that's interesting
Me: well go unbore yourself Josh
Josh: if i go out i'm not coming home til late
Me: do what you want Josh
Josh: bet
Josh: i'm going to Tim's house
*alert, alert. he already knew that shit was going to piss me off to no end, but of course i was tryna play like i didn't care. ugh, especially when i know hoes be ALL up at Tim's house and probably ALL over Josh and shit. but yeah, whatever. so i'm playing like i don't care and shit. capeesh? yuh.
so he hits me up again like 30 minutes later. to only later get into it further more & shit. anyway, it was more so of me being an asshole and him not understanding why. i suppose it was a misunderstanding. well, yeah. that's exactly what it was. anyway, we talk again later and he tells me that he was only joking when he said that i bored him.
*okay, so maybe i did blow the thing out of proportion, but a nigga didn't put a "jk" "lol" "lmao" or none of that shit after that statement, so i really had no choice but to take him seriously.
lol, so Josh's cool ass randomly calls my ass out the blue while i'm at the gas station. not to buy a blunt, black & mild or none of that shit, but for once just a regular purchase of a cherry coke zero. so he calls me to ask me if i'm okay and i tell him yeah. mind you, it's fucking pouring rain & my cool ass has on some crocs, so as i'm walking into the gas station i almost bust my ass in front of fiftyleven niggas and shit. i'm screaming all in his ear, while trying to keep my hair from gettin wet & trying to keep from falling. this whole time Josh got jokes and shit, "make sure not to get your weave wet boo." TRIED ME!
so i enter the gas station of whatever, and as i'm on my way in this nigga on his way out carrying a two brown paper bags full of 40 oz. beers/malt liquors. i take a deep breath & prepare myself. i mainly try to stay focused on Josh, cause for some reason i'm thinking that me being on the phone will keep me from being notice. but nah.
"damn baby, gimme a kiss."
NIGGA WHAT! i laugh at this nigga in his face as i'm makin my way back to the refrigerator things. Josh ass crunk as hell, "WHAT THAT NIGGA SAY TO YOU?" i'm laughing it off, cause i know how Josh ass can get.
*Baby is a fool, i swear this nigga wants to beat the whole world up over my ass. so umm, you Atlanta niggas baby said get the fuck back. and if you try me in front of him this summer, i really hate it for you.
so anyway, i make my purchase and on my way out and ANOTHER coon has something else to add. i swear to yall, niggas in the hood be so thirsty ESPECIALLY eastside decatur niggas. it was then when i notice all eyes is on a bitch, and i'm like the only female in the entire facility. so a bitch kinda nervous. i keep talking to Josh, and dash away to the car & go home.
so yeah man, Josh and i end up talking that night from like 11 pm to 4 in the morning <3.
some more shit...
yeah Josh, i'm biting you, but i can do that.
so i've basically been spending every night talking to Josh since last Monday. even though we have work and shit in the morning, we still stay up to the wee hours of the morning caking and shit.
*speaking of which, he had a big day that week. shouts outs to me & Josh yenno. to all you bitches, get the fuck back. like Monica & Brandy, the boy is MINE! 01072009.
like i was saying, we've been staying up laughin and shit, on some real g shit.
check it, so one night we were up watching Jackass the Movie. ROFLLLLLLLLLLLL, Josh had me rolling man. i have never laughed that hard at that movie, except for maybe with my Bust It Baby, shout outs to you babygirl. but chea, he went on and on about this old man in the scooter. i lie to you not a bitch almost fell over on the floor.
insider: like hahahaaa [/shawty lo]
-dead
a bitch be really on her job man. i'm really a g. soooo these past 7+ days, Josh and i have been discovering alot more about each other and shit. ALOT more about each other -wink, wink- lmao, i'm fucking with yall. but seriously though, a bitch is really looking forward to this summer. like no lie.
wanna know why? here goes...
- i'm having LOTS of sex with Josh
- we're gettin pregnant
- and lastly enganged
HOLLA FRONT!
and Josh i know you're reading this, so umm why you smiling baby?*lol, this nigga was at his mom's house talking to me on yahoo with his shirt over his face cause he couldn't stop smiling and he didn't want any one to see. aww, i love you baby. i love you, i love you, i love you.
the moral of the story is: Josh and i are inseparable.
the end.
Monday, January 05, 2009
new years
i just want everyone to know, FUCK BLOGSPOT.
like on some real g shit. i sat up here, and wrote this longgggg ass blog about new years & what happens? my lap top freezes. and uhh, aint blogpot supposed to save my shit? but nah, they didn't. i aint typing that shit over again. aint nooooo way. if you wanna know what happened on new years read Nina's blog. aint no way i'm typing ALLLL that fucking shit over again. aint nooooo way in fucking hell. i'll EVER be that bored.
so motherfuck blogging, forever. the end.
that shit really made my fucking blood hot.
like on some real g shit. i sat up here, and wrote this longgggg ass blog about new years & what happens? my lap top freezes. and uhh, aint blogpot supposed to save my shit? but nah, they didn't. i aint typing that shit over again. aint nooooo way. if you wanna know what happened on new years read Nina's blog. aint no way i'm typing ALLLL that fucking shit over again. aint nooooo way in fucking hell. i'll EVER be that bored.
so motherfuck blogging, forever. the end.
that shit really made my fucking blood hot.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
that's not my girl, once or ever
mannn, i haven't blogged in so long. so you already know yall, my readers, are in for some good reading & what not. anyway, i suppose i'll chapter this shit off since i'm covering ALOT of days.
SLURP & BURP
so uhh, me and Telly got this one female friend or what not. she has been complaining about her boyfriend or what have you. yenno, talking about that nigga creepin, sleezin, sleepin around and shit. sooooooo, she wanted us to come with her to ride by his house to see if he has some bitch over there. Telly said she just wanted a ride over there, since she aint have no car, lol. i mean shawty talking all big like "ima kill his ass if a bitch over there", "ima bring my pistol with me, i'll shoot his ass", yenno crazy shit like that. but anywayyyyyy, so me and Telly agree that we'd both go if the other went. so it's the night of or whatever & neither one of us have yet to get a phone call from ol girl so we basically thinking shawty flexing on us. so shit, me and Telly both in the bed & shit watching tv; doing our normal routine before bed. no homo. i get a phone call from my homeboy's phone. mind you, me, him & Telly used to be like the 3 amigos and shit. so i'm like "my niggaaaaa!" and i answer the phone & it's ol girl. =/ whattttttt.
-rewind- she has a history of liking him or whatever. like she's been wanting to give him the business since 07 and shit.
she's all like, "Dante is over here Ashlee, you coming over?" i tell her yeah, and inform Telly, who is still on the house phone, that she's coming to the east side and that we're going to shawty's house.
*this ho complaining and shit, about what she's gonna wear and shit.
Telly: "what ima wear though?"
Me: "a thermal with some jeans & uggs, that's what i'm wearing."
Telly: "i dont have a thermal."
Me: "yes you do, the white one you wore to the studio that one time."
Telly: "oh yeahhh"
Me: "yeah ho, i know your whole wardrobe"
so i call my homegirl or whatever and tell her that me & Telly both gonna come through or whatever. or did Telly call and tell her? either way, a phone call was made and we told her we were on the way. Telly gets to my house and all crunk and shit ready to see some action. of course me being me, i wasn't ready yet. i rush to the bathroom to run the flat iron through my hair until i'm hit with the news. "it's raining outside dawg, you might as well not even waste your time." double u-tee-eff! me, rain & my hair do not get along together. but whatever, Telly informs me to pin my hair up & i do it like she's my mom and shit. so i put on my uggs, and we're on the way out running to the car so our hair doesn't get wet.
Telly: "which way do i go?"
Me: straight
we're on our way, and i don't even realize that this bitch went straight ANDDDD turned left until i notice that we're sitting at a red light.
Me: "who told you to turn left?"
Telly: "I DIDN'T, I WENT STRAIGHT AND...oh, i turned left too."
-deadddd
this bitch goes through the light and halfway whips Carmen [her truck] around to go right back through it, but the light turnes red. LMAO, our asses are fucking blocking the WHOLE street like it's all good. we're cracking up and shit, cause i don't understand for one. but hey, when you're with me & Telly, shit goes down. so anyway, we're listening to Keyshia Cole's new album or whatever on the way there & eating jolly ranchers and shit. straight chillin and jammin.
*the track "Where This Love Could End Up" is on and it's jiggin and shit. we're at another stop light or whatever, after exiting the expressway, and this bitch Telly has a fucking dance to this part of the song. this bitch had both hands up in the air with the pointer finger up on both hands, bouncing her shoulders. i was too dead, cause this bitch was too for real.
anyway, we pull up to ol girl's house and i call her to open the door and shit. this bitch aint answering. i call my homeboy phone & he's not answering. i'm lookin at the house & i see lights on, so i'm looking at Telly like, "mannnn what the fuck." finally i look up and shawty at the door or whatever, cause we were about to get pissed. wasting gas is NOT our steelo. anyway, we walk up to the house & me and Telly thinking the same thing. "what the fuck this ho got on mayne?" mind you it's december, it's raining outside, but this bitch got on a mini skirt & blouse that's ALLLLLLL the way open with her tits hanging all out. =/ i don't know about you, but i don't get half naked when my homeboy's or homegirl's come over and shit. i'm at the house, shit. a bitch will wear sweats. but i guess that's just me and Telly.
but yeah man, we up stairs chillin and shit, kicking and shit. me & Telly aint seen the homie Dante in a minute so we had to dap & hug a nigga up and shit. anyway, we waiting for her to get crunk with her boyfriend drama and shit, but she flexing yet again. so we talking, yadda yadda. me and Telly talking with our inside jokes and shit, clowning. i realize they feel left out. OOPS!
*for some strange reason people think me & Telly look alike. i guess we hang out so much we look alike or some shit? -shrugs- maybe it's the short hair cuts & the pitch black hair. usually i hate when people tell me i look like other people, buttttt Telly a bad bitch, so i'll take that.
after about 30-45 minutes of lolly-gagging and shit, she calling this nigga. LMAO, he don't even answer the phone, so she calls from Dante phone & he answers. -dead-
Latavia: "where you at?"
him: "who is this?"
Latavia: "who you think it is? who it sound like? YOUR GIRLFRIEND!"
him: "oh..."
Latavia: "you at home?"
him: "yeah"
Latavia: -cuts him off- "well i'm about to come over."
him: "nah i'm at home, but not at home, home"
i dunno about you, but that sounds suspect as hell. i'm in between trying to hold my laugh in and tryna coach this bitch so she don't go off so we can sneak over there & catch his ass. she decided to go upstairs and change her clothes for the occasion--like wtf occasion you had these clothes on for? folks crazy these days. so she goes upstairs, and that's when Dante comes over and sits by me & Telly. oh, he was sittin on the couch with her and shit. me being the bitch i am, i asked him what's up with them, like why they sittin on the love seat sofa and why she all naked and shit. he hangs his head low, "man, she slurped me up?"
me & Telly: "SHE WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT"
and it dawns on me, that's what they were probably doing when we were calling they asses and they weren't answering the phone. -dead-
she comes back downstairs & we're acting like everything is everything like we don't know what REALLY went on. she go outside to smoke a cigarette, so i go with her cause i have plans on asking her what happened. so i'm outside with her and shit choppin it up.
me: "so, what chu and Dante do while me and Telly were on our way."
Lataiva: "nothing."
me: "nothing?"
Latavia: "nah, nothing."
me: "word."
i'm dying on the inside man, cause i know my nigga wouldn't lie to me mayne. and this wouldn't the the fist time she ever denied anything. so whatever, i just play it off. -fast forward- we going outside gettin ready to load up in Carmen, saying our goodbyes to Dante. so i'm crunk thinking we about to see some action & Telly puts in the new T-Pain cd. THAT'S MY SHIT! "Chopped & Skrewed" comes on & i'm crunk as shit ready for Luda's part. anywayyyy, dude live right up the street & shit, which is good. we ride by. NOTHING. we aint see him, we aint see no bitches, the weed man, no nothing.
man what the fuck.
me and Telly kinda pissed. her more so me cause she drove all the way from her house [30 min to my house & another 20 from my house to Latavia's house] to see a bunch of nothing.
*shit, good thing gas hella cheap right now. like i was saying, we drop her off & roll out. i'm trying to make the best out of it, gettin crunk man, dancing in the car. i love Carmen, so i gotta show her some love. everytime i get into the front seat, i'm always freaking that shit.
"YOU DANCE LIKE A STRIPPER!"
-blushes- that's all i hear from the driver's side. lmao, i know i be twerking that shit. anyway, last dance of the night, i crank the poole palace. Telly pull up to the crib, we say our talk to you laters & call me when you get homes and she's off.
final thought; how she gonna be mad at her boyfriend for "creepin" and she was just at the house sucking my homeboy up with that slobby mouth? i'm just saying, shit sounds a little off to me. if you creepin, he can't creep? you get what you recieve mayne, real shit. plus i dunno why she lied to me anyway about not serving him up. i thought we was friends and shit. ITS JUST HEAD, dang. let a bitch in on the goods & shit. anyway, shout outs to Dante for being the only truthful nigga for the night.
HUMAN SIZE PISS
so after christmas and shit, i've been killin this Kunf Fu Panda movie. i don't give a damn if it was orginally for Taylor, i watch that joint more than her. that movie fucking goes hard. i've been tryna tell Josh he needs to hop on the panda train, but he doesn't even wanna go.
like i was saying...
so i was up late one night on yahoo talking to babylove and i've got KFP on replay on my dvd player, i notice that Prada gets up from his slumber. nigga is out from his bed & blanket in the corner, stretching and shit. so i'm all talking to my boo boo in a baby voice, "hey my baby, are you awake?"
*every since Prada moved back in with me from my grandma's house, he's been my baby all over again & shit. that nigga has been missing my lovin too.
anywayyyyy, so i notice this nigga just lookin at me or whatever in the middle of my floor. nigga not excited to see me or something? pssh, whatever. so i continue talking to Josh on yahoo <3. so i get up for whatever reason, probably go get a snack or something since Josh & i have been doing some ill 3 and 4 am snackin, and i turn the light on a see my floor glistening. i'm like what the fuck is that. lemme tellllllllll you shawty, it looked like someone dumbed a big QT cup of some clear drink on my floor, like 3 yards of liquid and shit.
MOTHERFUCKING PRADA TOOK A HUGE PISS ON MY FLOOR!
like i'm talking a huge ass, big ass grown man piss. like, seriously though. even bounty, the quicker picker upper, couldn't even get all that piss up. a bitch had to use a towel, a mop, and chlorox clean up for that shit. i was too livid. that bitch had my room smelling like straight bleach for hours. thennnnn on top of that, that bitch is all back in his bed like he aint do shit. i tell Josh about it & Josh thinks it's the funniest thing in the world. =/ i'm yellin and cussin Prada's ass the fuck out. "GET THE FUCK OUT MY ROOM BITCH!" i kicked that fucking bitch out my room. his fucking ass is NOT allowed in my shit for a while now. he's back at grandma's til futher notice. i'm holding a grudge. yeah, so what nigga, i'm beefin with my maltese.
SLURP & BURP
so uhh, me and Telly got this one female friend or what not. she has been complaining about her boyfriend or what have you. yenno, talking about that nigga creepin, sleezin, sleepin around and shit. sooooooo, she wanted us to come with her to ride by his house to see if he has some bitch over there. Telly said she just wanted a ride over there, since she aint have no car, lol. i mean shawty talking all big like "ima kill his ass if a bitch over there", "ima bring my pistol with me, i'll shoot his ass", yenno crazy shit like that. but anywayyyyyy, so me and Telly agree that we'd both go if the other went. so it's the night of or whatever & neither one of us have yet to get a phone call from ol girl so we basically thinking shawty flexing on us. so shit, me and Telly both in the bed & shit watching tv; doing our normal routine before bed. no homo. i get a phone call from my homeboy's phone. mind you, me, him & Telly used to be like the 3 amigos and shit. so i'm like "my niggaaaaa!" and i answer the phone & it's ol girl. =/ whattttttt.
-rewind- she has a history of liking him or whatever. like she's been wanting to give him the business since 07 and shit.
she's all like, "Dante is over here Ashlee, you coming over?" i tell her yeah, and inform Telly, who is still on the house phone, that she's coming to the east side and that we're going to shawty's house.
*this ho complaining and shit, about what she's gonna wear and shit.
Telly: "what ima wear though?"
Me: "a thermal with some jeans & uggs, that's what i'm wearing."
Telly: "i dont have a thermal."
Me: "yes you do, the white one you wore to the studio that one time."
Telly: "oh yeahhh"
Me: "yeah ho, i know your whole wardrobe"
so i call my homegirl or whatever and tell her that me & Telly both gonna come through or whatever. or did Telly call and tell her? either way, a phone call was made and we told her we were on the way. Telly gets to my house and all crunk and shit ready to see some action. of course me being me, i wasn't ready yet. i rush to the bathroom to run the flat iron through my hair until i'm hit with the news. "it's raining outside dawg, you might as well not even waste your time." double u-tee-eff! me, rain & my hair do not get along together. but whatever, Telly informs me to pin my hair up & i do it like she's my mom and shit. so i put on my uggs, and we're on the way out running to the car so our hair doesn't get wet.
Telly: "which way do i go?"
Me: straight
we're on our way, and i don't even realize that this bitch went straight ANDDDD turned left until i notice that we're sitting at a red light.
Me: "who told you to turn left?"
Telly: "I DIDN'T, I WENT STRAIGHT AND...oh, i turned left too."
-deadddd
this bitch goes through the light and halfway whips Carmen [her truck] around to go right back through it, but the light turnes red. LMAO, our asses are fucking blocking the WHOLE street like it's all good. we're cracking up and shit, cause i don't understand for one. but hey, when you're with me & Telly, shit goes down. so anyway, we're listening to Keyshia Cole's new album or whatever on the way there & eating jolly ranchers and shit. straight chillin and jammin.
*the track "Where This Love Could End Up" is on and it's jiggin and shit. we're at another stop light or whatever, after exiting the expressway, and this bitch Telly has a fucking dance to this part of the song. this bitch had both hands up in the air with the pointer finger up on both hands, bouncing her shoulders. i was too dead, cause this bitch was too for real.
anyway, we pull up to ol girl's house and i call her to open the door and shit. this bitch aint answering. i call my homeboy phone & he's not answering. i'm lookin at the house & i see lights on, so i'm looking at Telly like, "mannnn what the fuck." finally i look up and shawty at the door or whatever, cause we were about to get pissed. wasting gas is NOT our steelo. anyway, we walk up to the house & me and Telly thinking the same thing. "what the fuck this ho got on mayne?" mind you it's december, it's raining outside, but this bitch got on a mini skirt & blouse that's ALLLLLLL the way open with her tits hanging all out. =/ i don't know about you, but i don't get half naked when my homeboy's or homegirl's come over and shit. i'm at the house, shit. a bitch will wear sweats. but i guess that's just me and Telly.
but yeah man, we up stairs chillin and shit, kicking and shit. me & Telly aint seen the homie Dante in a minute so we had to dap & hug a nigga up and shit. anyway, we waiting for her to get crunk with her boyfriend drama and shit, but she flexing yet again. so we talking, yadda yadda. me and Telly talking with our inside jokes and shit, clowning. i realize they feel left out. OOPS!
*for some strange reason people think me & Telly look alike. i guess we hang out so much we look alike or some shit? -shrugs- maybe it's the short hair cuts & the pitch black hair. usually i hate when people tell me i look like other people, buttttt Telly a bad bitch, so i'll take that.
after about 30-45 minutes of lolly-gagging and shit, she calling this nigga. LMAO, he don't even answer the phone, so she calls from Dante phone & he answers. -dead-
Latavia: "where you at?"
him: "who is this?"
Latavia: "who you think it is? who it sound like? YOUR GIRLFRIEND!"
him: "oh..."
Latavia: "you at home?"
him: "yeah"
Latavia: -cuts him off- "well i'm about to come over."
him: "nah i'm at home, but not at home, home"
i dunno about you, but that sounds suspect as hell. i'm in between trying to hold my laugh in and tryna coach this bitch so she don't go off so we can sneak over there & catch his ass. she decided to go upstairs and change her clothes for the occasion--like wtf occasion you had these clothes on for? folks crazy these days. so she goes upstairs, and that's when Dante comes over and sits by me & Telly. oh, he was sittin on the couch with her and shit. me being the bitch i am, i asked him what's up with them, like why they sittin on the love seat sofa and why she all naked and shit. he hangs his head low, "man, she slurped me up?"
me & Telly: "SHE WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT"
and it dawns on me, that's what they were probably doing when we were calling they asses and they weren't answering the phone. -dead-
she comes back downstairs & we're acting like everything is everything like we don't know what REALLY went on. she go outside to smoke a cigarette, so i go with her cause i have plans on asking her what happened. so i'm outside with her and shit choppin it up.
me: "so, what chu and Dante do while me and Telly were on our way."
Lataiva: "nothing."
me: "nothing?"
Latavia: "nah, nothing."
me: "word."
i'm dying on the inside man, cause i know my nigga wouldn't lie to me mayne. and this wouldn't the the fist time she ever denied anything. so whatever, i just play it off. -fast forward- we going outside gettin ready to load up in Carmen, saying our goodbyes to Dante. so i'm crunk thinking we about to see some action & Telly puts in the new T-Pain cd. THAT'S MY SHIT! "Chopped & Skrewed" comes on & i'm crunk as shit ready for Luda's part. anywayyyy, dude live right up the street & shit, which is good. we ride by. NOTHING. we aint see him, we aint see no bitches, the weed man, no nothing.
man what the fuck.
me and Telly kinda pissed. her more so me cause she drove all the way from her house [30 min to my house & another 20 from my house to Latavia's house] to see a bunch of nothing.
*shit, good thing gas hella cheap right now. like i was saying, we drop her off & roll out. i'm trying to make the best out of it, gettin crunk man, dancing in the car. i love Carmen, so i gotta show her some love. everytime i get into the front seat, i'm always freaking that shit.
"YOU DANCE LIKE A STRIPPER!"
-blushes- that's all i hear from the driver's side. lmao, i know i be twerking that shit. anyway, last dance of the night, i crank the poole palace. Telly pull up to the crib, we say our talk to you laters & call me when you get homes and she's off.
final thought; how she gonna be mad at her boyfriend for "creepin" and she was just at the house sucking my homeboy up with that slobby mouth? i'm just saying, shit sounds a little off to me. if you creepin, he can't creep? you get what you recieve mayne, real shit. plus i dunno why she lied to me anyway about not serving him up. i thought we was friends and shit. ITS JUST HEAD, dang. let a bitch in on the goods & shit. anyway, shout outs to Dante for being the only truthful nigga for the night.
HUMAN SIZE PISS
so after christmas and shit, i've been killin this Kunf Fu Panda movie. i don't give a damn if it was orginally for Taylor, i watch that joint more than her. that movie fucking goes hard. i've been tryna tell Josh he needs to hop on the panda train, but he doesn't even wanna go.
like i was saying...
so i was up late one night on yahoo talking to babylove and i've got KFP on replay on my dvd player, i notice that Prada gets up from his slumber. nigga is out from his bed & blanket in the corner, stretching and shit. so i'm all talking to my boo boo in a baby voice, "hey my baby, are you awake?"
*every since Prada moved back in with me from my grandma's house, he's been my baby all over again & shit. that nigga has been missing my lovin too.
anywayyyyy, so i notice this nigga just lookin at me or whatever in the middle of my floor. nigga not excited to see me or something? pssh, whatever. so i continue talking to Josh on yahoo <3. so i get up for whatever reason, probably go get a snack or something since Josh & i have been doing some ill 3 and 4 am snackin, and i turn the light on a see my floor glistening. i'm like what the fuck is that. lemme tellllllllll you shawty, it looked like someone dumbed a big QT cup of some clear drink on my floor, like 3 yards of liquid and shit.
MOTHERFUCKING PRADA TOOK A HUGE PISS ON MY FLOOR!
like i'm talking a huge ass, big ass grown man piss. like, seriously though. even bounty, the quicker picker upper, couldn't even get all that piss up. a bitch had to use a towel, a mop, and chlorox clean up for that shit. i was too livid. that bitch had my room smelling like straight bleach for hours. thennnnn on top of that, that bitch is all back in his bed like he aint do shit. i tell Josh about it & Josh thinks it's the funniest thing in the world. =/ i'm yellin and cussin Prada's ass the fuck out. "GET THE FUCK OUT MY ROOM BITCH!" i kicked that fucking bitch out my room. his fucking ass is NOT allowed in my shit for a while now. he's back at grandma's til futher notice. i'm holding a grudge. yeah, so what nigga, i'm beefin with my maltese.
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