man, all i want is space.
i'm trying to live my life, i'm trying to move forward. yenno, a life without bullshit, hassels, lies, etc. but fuck shit fuck man, this nigga gives me no peace. me or my fucking friends. Telly says he persistant. i don't give a flying fuck.
yesterday i don't think i have ever yelled that loud on the phone. left my voice all scratchy and what not. pissed me off even more homes.
my ex boyfriend keeps calling me, texting me ALL up in my pussy about everything. funny how shit works out. i swear i couldn't even get this nigga to come over and take a big whiff of my pussy, ugh. the thing that gets me is, how could you say you love someone so much, turn around and tell bold face lies to them and then not spend an ounce of your time with them because you're intimidated by them? how are you in love with someone you're intimidated with? that's more of an obsession.
anyway, he's always telling me how sorry he is, how he didn't mean to hurt me. telling me how hurt he is that i'm over him. he must fail to realize how much time i put into that fake ass relationship. he must fail to realize how much i bent over backwards for his ass, how i wasted a year of my life waiting for something to happen that was never going to happen. as far as i'm concerned i have put up with his bullshit entirely too fucking long. i'm through. i have already done what i have never done with anyone in my life, and that's giving him chance after chance to prove to me that he was going to change. i'm tired of giving out chances. I'M TIRED MAN.
*i'm done with his ass. he's fucked me over so many times, and those bullshit ass lies really did it for me. i'm the type of bitch if you fuck me over, i'm fucking done with your ass. no if's, and's or but's about it. feel me, G?
i'm already fucked up mentally about relationships anyway. TRUST NO HO, TRUST NO NIGGA. so you tell me how i'm ever supposed to be able to give myself to someone if i can't trust them? it's not just relationships where i have trust issues, i have trust issues period. i converse with few people, and kick it with and even smaller amount of people.
back to subject.
my ex has this problem with snooping, he's always looking for shit where he doesn't belong in the first place. previously, he has deleted his myspace and crushspot accounts. fine whatever, right? that was on him, at least he won't be stalking me asking me 21 questions about someone i converse with. him and i are broken up anyway. right? WRONG!
this nigga keeps calling me asking me if i like someone, asking me i how i am over him so fast. he can't believe it because he's so "in love with me" and "he doesn't want to be with anyone else but me." sounds like a personal problem to me. he keeps telling me how i don't understand that he's hurt. WHAT THE FUCK?! i'm the one that should be hurting. but i'm not. well, i mean, i am to a certain extent, but that's whatever. it's more like stress has been lifted off my chest.
like i was saying, he randomly calls me last night and asks me if i have a man. WHAT THE FUCK! i don't owe this nigga shit, yaddamean. i'm like, "df homes, chu asking for?" this nigga burst out into tears. i'm holding the phone frozen. i dunno how to react to grown ass men crying over me per se. especially since i'm an non-emotional bitch to him now. i'm trying to to be that rude, but i can't stand the sound of grown men crying over nothing, i ask him what's wrong with him and ask him why he's questioning me. it was then when he brings up Josh also known as n-word in cases with my ex. LMAOOOOO @ Josh [insider]. i'm livid now. of course i immediately think that he's ghost hitting Josh's crushspot page. Josh being the lovely person that he is, is an asshole and always leaves a message for my ex to read since him and i both know how snoopy this nigga is. my ex finally explains to me, after about 5 min. of him sobbing and 5 min. of me yelling at him to shut the fuck up, that he made a new crushspot page just to read my tag board and see who i've been talking to.
loco much? indeed.
so he get's to a tag from Josh and clicks reply, which sends him to Josh's tag board. Josh has a tag on his board saying "ashlee late" and posts his link to his blogspot on there. of course my ex being the courious george monkey that he is, he reads his blogs and peeps a few things about me in it that leaves the nigga butt hurt. OOPS!
all i can tell him is that he hurt his own feelings. maybe he should keep his ass off the internet, worried about the wrong things. him and i are NOT together anymore, so i shouldn't be on his lists of worries anyway. he needs to worry about his son, and not the bitch that dumped him. real talk. -smirks-
i tell Josh about it, and he's just as pissed as i am about the situation. "Males shouldn't be jealous, that's a female trait." / "if you don't love me someone else will" i don't know any better way to put this this.
FUCK! now this nigga logged on yahoo. i shall copy and paste our conversation for you guys.
Diggie: u make me feel so sad man
cloud.kapri: =/
Diggie: why u give me that face
cloud.kapri: because you
Diggie: because i what
Diggie: im so sad man
cloud.kapri: because Deshawn
cloud.kapri: you've got to be fucking kidding me
cloud.kapri: i make you sad
cloud.kapri: you're upset that i ignore you
cloud.kapri: ?
cloud.kapri: you kidding right?
cloud.kapri: all you care about are your feelings.
Diggie: im not upset
Diggie: no i dont ashlee! u wont even tell me how u feel
cloud.kapri: finally.
Diggie: im trying to talk to u
cloud.kapri: i don't have to tell you anything.
Diggie: omg why u do me like this
cloud.kapri: then yesterday the situation with Josh, you blew me.
cloud.kapri: do you like what?
cloud.kapri: DESHAWN I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LIED TO ME OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
cloud.kapri: there is nothing you can say to me, that i will believe.
cloud.kapri: i tell you that i need space
cloud.kapri: and here you are on yahoo writing me.
cloud.kapri: you call me, and i tell you i don't want to talk.
cloud.kapri: and you text me.
cloud.kapri: then the crushspot thing.
cloud.kapri: you'be gotta be joking.
Diggie: i told u to cawl me so i can talk to you about the giving u space thing
cloud.kapri: there is nothing to talk about, give me space.
cloud.kapri: i told you, you're the boy who cried wolf to me.
cloud.kapri: then to make it worse its not like you & i ever spend time with each other.
cloud.kapri: so you lie and you don't ever see me.
cloud.kapri: =/ how does that look.
Diggie: im trying to make it right now im not tryin to be with you
Diggie: im just trying to start somewhere so i can show u
cloud.kapri: show me what?
Diggie: if u want space il give u space
Diggie: that im really trying to changre
cloud.kapri: you just sat and told Telly you were trying to get back with me?
cloud.kapri: more lies?
Diggie: no i told her that i wasnt trying to get back with you
cloud.kapri: you always say you're going to change.
cloud.kapri: you never change.
Diggie: i told her that i was just trying to make it better
cloud.kapri: if you're not trying to get back with me, then why are you worried about who i talk to, if i like someone, and if i'm with someone?
cloud.kapri: why are you so worried about Josh?
cloud.kapri: huh?
Diggie: wow ashlee we were together 11 months and in 4 days im not susposed to care if your talking to somebody else already?
Diggie: i didnt know i was susposed to get over it tht fast
cloud.kapri: smh
cloud.kapri: and?
Diggie: i didnt know it was suspoed to be ok that you like somebody else already
cloud.kapri: that's besides the point
cloud.kapri: you were snooping
cloud.kapri: for what?
cloud.kapri: why do you keep telling me you love me?
Diggie: because i do
cloud.kapri: no you don't
Diggie: yes the hell i do
cloud.kapri: =/
Diggie: u might not love me but i love u
Diggie: i fucking love you yo
cloud.kapri: i could rip the flesh off your face
Diggie: omg
cloud.kapri: i bent over backwards for you
cloud.kapri: for fucking what?
cloud.kapri: i hate being lied to
cloud.kapri: i hate wasting time
cloud.kapri: i wasted time
cloud.kapri: there is nothing you can say to me
cloud.kapri: that will make me forgive you
Diggie: OMG WHY ASHLEE
cloud.kapri: to be honest with you deshawn, you need to worry about your son and not me.
Diggie: dont worry about you?
cloud.kapri: for what?
Diggie: i love u ashlee how can i not worry about u
cloud.kapri: im not worried about you.
Diggie: ....
Diggie: damn
cloud.kapri: i dont worry about liars.
cloud.kapri: harsh, but that's truth.
cloud.kapri: see how bad it feels when no one considers your feelings?
cloud.kapri: you feel that deshawn?
cloud.kapri: cry for me the way i cried for you when i thought you were hospitalized.
cloud.kapri: that is of course til you started fucking your lie up.
Diggie: ok.
cloud.kapri: good bye deshawn.
Diggie: you know
Diggie: good bye?
Diggie: so u done with me?
cloud.kapri: did the light bulb not go off that we've been done kiddo.
Diggie: how u could u do that to me
Diggie: u breaking my heart
cloud.kapri: maybe one day i can befriend you.
cloud.kapri: i hope it breaks into a million pieces.
Diggie: omg
cloud.kapri: i hope you can't piece it back together.
Diggie: how could u say that to me
cloud.kapri: i can't imagine how i'll put mine back together.
cloud.kapri: you fucked me up so bad
cloud.kapri: i dont fucking trust anyone
cloud.kapri: do you know how that feels?
cloud.kapri: no you fucking dont
cloud.kapri: go find some bitch to cuff
Diggie: you know how it feels to have the one u think the world of to tell u they dont givah fuck about u
cloud.kapri: obviously you didnt give a fuck about me when you lied
cloud.kapri: i have so much pure resentment towards you
cloud.kapri: and you know the type of bitch i am
cloud.kapri: so don't act so shocked
cloud.kapri: like i said, good bye.
cloud.kapri: go piece your life together.
cloud.kapri: one without me.
Diggie: omg
Diggie: ashlee stop please i cant be without u i need you ASHLEE please
Diggie: i fucked up ok i never meant to hurt you im sorry
Diggie: i WAS JUST being stupid
Diggie: please
Diggie: dont be like this
Diggie: please
Diggie: ashlee please
BUZZ!!!
Diggie: ashle
Diggie: ashlee**
Diggie: ashlee please talk to me
Diggie: i dont wanna be without u i cant
Diggie: please
Diggie: please ashlee iono what to fo
Diggie: do*
Diggie: i cant even think
Diggie: please talk to me
Diggie: please answer me
Diggie: Ashlee can iplease just say something to you please
Diggie: ion want it to end like that
Diggie: just answer please
Diggie: dont do me like this please
BUZZ!!!
Diggie: ashlee
Diggie: please answer
BUZZ!!!
Diggie: ashlee
Diggie: answer please
Diggie: ashlee can i ask u sumthin
Diggie: please
Diggie: please let me just ask u this one question
Diggie: it can be on here u dont have to answer the fone
Diggie: just answer me this
Diggie: will u answer?
Diggie: u there
Diggie has signed out. (12/14/2008 4:47 PM)
they never appreciate you until you're gone.
