i knew today was gonna be a fucked up day because for one: i went to bed with a fuck shit ass attitude, two: woke up late for work with a fuck shit attitude. smh, shit man. ya bitch woke up when i was supposed to be up at the Shadow Rock Center around 6:30-ish so i was about 45 min. to an hour late for work. fuck this shit man. shout outs to my mom for calling my phone & waking me up. big ups P-Rokk.
but like i was saying, i don't understand why people insist on saying or doing what they do to me. maybe i'm just talking crazy, maybe i'm trippin, but fuck man. i'm irritated with just about everyone today. real shit.
then on top of that, one of my coworker insists that i have an anger problem. BITCH SO FUCKING WHAT IF I DO! my face been so screwed up today, i feel like i'm on some other shit. of course i excuse myself from everyone. big mistake, something i never should have done. i'm in the teacher's lounge just sittin there, staring at the vending machine and i think about why i'm so mad & why i'm so irritated. a series of events are racing through my mind starting with some bull x2 from last night, me gettin up late as fuck, my ex, just everything really.
i'm so fucked up man, like seriously. all jokes aside. my ex is really gonna catch hell mayne, i swear. karma is such a fucking bitch. because i know i'm a good ass female, the best as they come. i'm better than your ex, your next, the bitch you fucking, the bitch you used to fuck, the hoe you danced with at the club, and the bitch you cake with on late nights. and that nigga is gonna realize that shit. because right now he's fucking playing, he thinks it's a joke. he thinks i'm a fucking joke. and fuck man, that shit hurts my feelings. imagine that, MY feelings gettin hurt. yenno what i'm sayin, fuck all that, i'm a G and shit, but damn man he really hurt my feelings. this nigga on the phone with my bestfriend and shit and he don't even know i'm on the phone. they're talking on threeway with this other nigga, his "bestfriend", and this nigga is laughing at our breakup. he's laughing. you fucking serious? but he'll cry on the phone with me and tell me how sorry he is, but gets on the phone with my best fucking friend and laughing? talking about some, "oh i got other shit to do this week anyway. i aint fucking calling Ashlee no more, shit. ion'eem care, aint that right Trig?" NOT THAT I WANT HIS FUCK ASS TO CALL ME ANYWAY. i want this nigga to know how it feels when no one cares about your feelings. i want him to know how it feels when someone plays with you and lies to you. i want him to go through what i went through. i hope that nigga gets what he deserves, i hope he catches hell.
*i'm not even the type of bitch to cry over a nigga, and i'm not going to cry over his ass. but that shit right there, make a bitch really fucked up. especially when i wasn't the one that was faking it. the reality of it kills me. waiting on something that would never happen. like a fucking child who believes in Santa and finds out he isn't real. crushing.
my Daddy called me yesterday, which was good yenno. i miss my pops, so it was nice to hear his voice. my dad was talking to me about relationships which was sooo freakin weird to me. like he just knew that something was going on with me. i mean, i've never had "the talk" about guys with any of my parents, so it was kind of nice to talk to my dad about it. he basically told me not to trust anyone. "guys will use you and leave you Ashlee." couldn't have been the realest shit i've heard all damn day. then he was asking me if i was dating anyone. -sigh- "naw Daddy, i'm not."
another thing, if i like you & you know i like you i don't wanna hear about some bitch saying that she'd let you fuck. like what the fuck man, come on now. i just thought i throw that out there. and naw, a bitch wasn't trippin either.
